| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
jackwebb
Snake Mite
United Kingdom
15 Posts |
 Posted - 10/06/2010 : 10:45:33
|
| i am buying a corn snake i have the tank and every think i need just the just im waiting on.... my mum and dad are splite up but i live with my dad and sees my mum 2wise a week, i want the snake down at my house so i can see it and handle it more,,,, how can i convince my dad to let me have it when hes **** scared of them ... whhy should i suffor for his fear !! |
|
|
jackwebb
Snake Mite
United Kingdom
15 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 10:47:05
|
| just waiting ...on the snake |
 |
|
|
Sta~ple
qeeun speler
United Kingdom
6129 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 10:57:26
|
Um not to sound stupid but maybe you should of asked him before you bought the snake? And if he's scared of them why should he suffer with his fear?
My dad doesn't like my snakes, my mum got mine without telling him when she said she did and it caused a alot of arguements. You could explain that you will keep it in your room. |
   
A very special super, duper thanks for K :3 |
|
|
|
Dan-sunkist
Hatchling
Ireland
143 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 10:58:08
|
| some people are just like that. i had to wait untill i moved out to get my 2 snakes as my mum wouldn let me keep them in the house she wasn afraid of em she just didnt like them, now when she comes over she willl handle them and all. try bringing him into a local rep shop and show him the snakes reasure him that you will be the one looking after it and he needs to do nothing which he shouldnt have to anyway if its your pet. whatever you do dont go into a rep shop and ask them to take out the biggest boa they have that would be a bad move. ask them can you handle a nice sized corn and show him that they are tame and placid. this isnt a garuntee but its worth a shot |
 |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
243 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 11:02:40
|
| if people have a genuine fear of snakes the worst thing you can do is force it upon them. as dan said before bringing home a snake bring him to a rep shop and slowly introduce him to corns. they are lovely and all to those of us that like them but to someone with a fear they are the opposite. |
 
 |
|
|
|
jackwebb
Snake Mite
United Kingdom
15 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 11:14:12
|
| yes thank you ill try that with him and i no what you mean sta but it will be in my room i wouldnt expect him to go near it i under stand him i used to be scared of them intill my m8 got some and started breeding and i used to go over and help him clean the tanks and fill the water dishes its then i started handleing them i started to love them, it must take time for him to gain ( likness) of them i might just buy one and put it in the tank and i will shut the door and if that dont work out il keep it up my mums and go up there every over day :) |
|
|
|
jackwebb
Snake Mite
United Kingdom
15 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 11:16:44
|
| and i have not bort the snake yet i have just got the tank and stuff set up im waiting to buy the right snake at the moment :L |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
243 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 11:17:54
|
if u just buy one he will never come around. i had said to my OH that i didnt want any snake that could grow bigger than me but he wanted a boa. if he had of gotten one and not considered me i would have just flipped the lid but we went to the rep zoo in ireland here and i held a 6 ft boa(bigger than me) and now im ok with him getting one.
i would recommend taking it slowly and at least letting him gain some tolerence for snakes before bringing one home |
|
|
|
|
jackwebb
Snake Mite
United Kingdom
15 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 11:24:14
|
| yes i no what u mean i have tryed saying it will only grow about 4 foot it will be in my room wont make noises i wont let it go arund the house and all that but he wont have none of it my bro just said just get one put it in and if he says any thing my bro will back me up cuz my old man listens to him and my bro works wonders with him :L |
|
|
|
devilsmistress
Yearling
United Kingdom
829 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 11:28:38
|
Also you have to think about his feelings. His fear could be if it got out?? Also Where are you going to keep the frozen mice you will be feeding? Not everyone is going to jump for joy at the idea of dead rodents in there freezer.
I think you need to sit down with him, talk to him and maybe show him some cornsnake videos on youtube first before the pet shop visit. He may see snakes as big scary rattle snakes in his mind, you need to show him how diffrent a corn snake is. Once he has understood the diffrence then the pet shop visit. |Explane corns are a weaker snake so its not going to crush him, If it bites they have such small teeth it would not be as bad as if he was bitten by a hamster ect. Put them sort of points across. But dont bombard him all in one go, It may end up having the rverse affect.
If he still says no then you may have to face fact and keep the snake at your mums, At the end of the day its his house and you have to respect that. |
|
|
|
jackwebb
Snake Mite
United Kingdom
15 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 11:41:33
|
| yes i would buy them on the day of feeding and i understand yes thank u all for ur ideas i will try it with him :) |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
41 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 16:41:00
|
Yeah, I agree with devilsmistress - at the end of the day, your old man *is* the one putting the roof over your head, so you have to respect his feelings. I appreciate that you feel that you shouldn't have to suffer for his fear, but at the end of the day, if you were renting off a landlord and he explicitly said you weren't allowed any pets, you'd have to respect that, too.
You're sixteen, so my guess is that you're going to be living at home at least a little while longer - have you kept any pets on your own before? I imagine your dad's worried about the snake not being kept securely and escaping, so the best thing you can do to put his mind at rest is to get really smart about snakes - read everything you can (Bill & Kathy Love's excellent 'Comprehensive Owner's Manual to Corn Snakes' is a great primer, if you haven't read it already), then sit down with your dad and explain to him exactly what having a snake will involve (feeding, cleaning, security etc). You talk about picking up mice on the day of feeding, but practically speaking, when your snake's feeding once every 5-6 days, this is going to become chore. When you're excited about getting your first snake, it's easy to convince yourself that you won't mind six trips a month to the pet store, but I promise you, it's better to be patient and to do it right than to settle for a compromise 'workaround' system.
Peoples fears are more often than not borne out of ignorance, and especially so with snakes. To convince your dad that keeping snakes can be fun and enjoyable, you need to show him that you're smart and responsible enough to look after it without his help. Oh, and getting smart will obviously improve the level of care you can provide for your snake, too! :) The more you show you know what you're doing, the more your dad will warm to the idea, and the more confident he'll be about your ability to look after it.
Or he could be a snake-phobic, in which case the task will be that much harder. But you'll make life much more difficult for both yourself and your dad if you just run out and buy a snake without talking to him, first.
And regardless of what everyone says on this forum, and however much we love our snakes (and we do!), you've gotta be cool with your family first and foremost - worst case scenario, you can get a snake when you move out on your own; it's certainly not worth falling out with your dad over. :)
Peace out ;) |
0.1.0 '09 Aztec Lavender, "Meryl" |
|
|
|
DannyBrown91
Fully Grown Corn
United Kingdom
3070 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 16:48:35
|
Nicely put Mathew, i would certainly agree on everything said.
Which way you go about things is down to you but there is some really good advice here and its deffinitely worth following.
I'm sure given the time your dad will come round. When most people who are scared of snakes think about them, the first things that come to mind are big Anacondas, Retic Pythons and various venemous snakes. Rattle snakes Cobras etc.
Not many think of your average little corn snake. |
0.0.1 Ghost Corn - Casper
0.0.1 Diffused Corn - Reggie
0.0.1 Amel Corn - Candy A.K.A Baby
1.0 Commom BCI - Rocky
0.1 Japanese Akita - Sasha
Location: Liverpool |
Edited by - DannyBrown91 on 10/06/2010 16:51:01 |
|
|
|
Matt_Brooks
Hatchling
138 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 21:24:04
|
Definatly agree with Mathew. Learn learn and learn some more to show you can do it and you are responsable.
If your dad still sticks his heels in im affraid youll just have to wait. I always wanted a snake since i was young but my mum wouldnt even consider it even when i learnt to shown i was responsable, its just a fact of life you cant always have what you want.
My OH isnt to fused but im not allowed to keep mice in the freezer so have to make weekly trips to the reptile shop (luckily its not to far). Even telling her i'll triple bag them and put them in an ice cream tub wouldnt convince her. May have to invest in a mini freezer or something.
Matt |
0.1.0 Carolina Corn |
|
|
|
stotty01
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1168 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2010 : 22:01:59
|
| my mum objected to my snake, she wouldnt hold it or look at it for no longer than 10 seconds, but now she is strating to love her and instressted in her feeding handling and just genreal care, just done ruch into it |
my aunties, bestfriends, hairdressers, friends boyfriend had a snake and it stretched out to measure him to eat him......true story.....
1.0.0 tortoise
1.0.0 sinaloan milk snake
1.0.0 jack russel
0.1.0 anery corn medusa
1.0.0 snow corn abomninable
0.1.0 royal python priscilla
http://www.youtube.com/user/stotty01 dads youtube channel
Tail n scales, Linton, Cambs, CB21 4XN, Tel no 01223 893 508 http://www.tails-n-scales.co.uk/
wish list: boa! |
|
|
|
Kellog
the nice one
United Kingdom
7308 Posts |
Posted - 11/06/2010 : 13:53:25
|
Jack, you have been given some really good advice already on here....especially from Mathew, very wise words.
A few things you have to think about. Your dad knows how young you are and how often youngsters can go through phases of liking things and then get bored....so who would be left to look after the snake then? You need to show him how committed you are to having this snake in your life for the next 10/15 years....a snake is not something you take on lightly. You need to show him that you can finance your snake. You say you have the tank and everything....does that mean you have bought the heatmat, stat, digital thermometer, hides etc? Then there is the cost of feeding it....not extravagant but a continuing drain on your expenses when you want to spend your money down the pub, on driving lessons in the future, etc. Also, talking about the future, have you thought about what will happen to the snake if you go to uni? Can you take it with you or will you expect your dad to look after it and only see it on holidays? You need to show your dad that you have thought through all these points and have answers to them. As has already been said....learn as much as you can, because by doing that you can prove to him how committed you are to getting this snake and you can answer any question he throws at you about it.
You need to respect the fact that he is saying no because of his fear of snakes. This is a very real fear and you cannot expect him to live with something he is terrified of just because you want a snake. It is not as though he is saying no because he wants to spoil your fun....it is because he is actually scared of having the snake in the house. I have friends who wont come to my house now because they know I have snakes, even though they dont have to see them or touch them. Try and imagine your greatest fear and then being forced by someone you love to confront it and live with it....without any preparation or understanding. That is where your dad is at. By showing him how committed you are to getting your snake, and by showing that you understand his fear and his reservations, you can educate him and hopefully show him that snakes are not something to be feared. You can do as has been suggested and see if he would go in and look at some snakes, maybe go to your mates....but you mustnt push him to go or to handle them or even stand close to them. This is something that needs to be handled very carefully and tactfully. I know you have your brother on your side but the fact that he has told you just to get the snake despite knowing that your dad is terrified of them is not great advice. Dont go on and on and on at him about it as that will just make him even firmer in his decision to say no....and definitely dont just go out and get one.
I am not sure how long it has been since your mum and dad have split up, but have you thought that this might still be effecting him and effecting his decision making and his reaction to things?
It would not be fair on your mum if you were to get the snake and keep it at her house as in the end she would be doing the day to day care of it....not you....and you would miss out on so much.
Your dad loves you Jack, even if it doesnt feel that way as he is not letting you have what you want - but sometimes parents have to do that and they have their reasons for doing it. You need to try and work with him - not against him - and try and help him to conquer this fear he has and then maybe you will be able to get the snake you want....BUT you must also realise that you cant always get what you want and you may have to wait until the time is right for you to get that snake....and that time isnt now. Show him that you respect him, that you are trying to understand his fear and through doing that he will come to respect you and maybe will come to understand your love of snakes and allow you to get one.
As Mathew said (much better than I can say it), as much as you may want this snake....it is not worth losing the love of your dad over it. You have been through enough stress in your life with your folks splitting without living in a house with a dad who doesnt respect you cos you have gone against his wishes and gotten a snake. Is it really worth it??????
xxx
|
  
  |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
how do i get my dad to let me have a snake
