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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
 Posted - 02/04/2011 : 23:50:46
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Okay so, Lister is here, and has settled in very well, and has been here for 2 months.
During that time, everyone in my family (inc relatives, not just immediate) has held him. Except one. My mother. At first, she would touch him, like, one of his coils when he was wrapped around my fingers, but wouldn't hold him. Now she wont even touch him. She gets uncomfortable is I just pop him on a pillow next to her whilst I'm sat on the sofa, and it's driving me nuts. I've reassured her countless times he isn't germy, he wont bite, he wont dissapear, and she's just being really funny with him. And honestly, he isn't even flighty or grumpy, he's the most placid corn I've come across.
I just dont get it.
And this makes it difficult, as I just want to get 1 other (And call him Rimmer, see where I'm going with this? :P) and every time I bring it up, she's all 'Uh, no!', and it's pretty frustrating. I mean, it doesn't affect/impinge her in anyway, hell, I had to barter to get Lister and 'gave' her my fishtank (with the fish still in it, phew). Also helped that I explained the benefits of a snake tank which required like, 1 socket, whilst the fishtank was using 3, plus 40+litres of water a week in water changes.
Oooh, bit of a tangent there! In short:
How can I get my mum to get over her problem with Lister?
She says she likes him, but wont touch or hold him.
This prevents me getting a second.
You can see my dilemma :P |
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 02/04/2011 : 23:51:56
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| Edit: Wont let me edit for some reason, but I'll add that she doesn't have a fear of snakes :P |
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Ailsa
Banned
United Kingdom
804 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 00:00:27
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If she says she likes snakes but wont touch or hold him, why are you forcing the issue on her. The snake is yours not your mums, your the one looking after the wee snakey not your mum so I do not see why it would stop you getting another.
I'm waiting on my first ever corn snake and I certainly wouldn't push anyone to touch or hold her if they didn't want to. You just have to face that's how your mum is, only person who can adapt and like the snake more is you mum. |
  
Dakota ~ Bloodred Corn ~ Amber & Chloe ~ Cats
Mind is changing on snakes I want now lol so am researching these to find out what would be best - Milk Snakes and Dwarf Boa possibly - Crawl Cay, Sonoran, Tarahumara or Vera Cruz and poss a Hoggie, African House and Rat snake. Also Trinket Snakes. |
Edited by - Ailsa on 03/04/2011 00:02:25 |
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 00:09:24
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Oh, I dont force it on her! If I have him out, and she sits next to me, I'll say 'Wanna touch the wormy?' or something like that, and she'll be like 'I dont want to' and I'll say thats fine and stuff. I know forcing it at her is the worst possible thing to do, so I only ask casually, and not that often.
As for the 'her stopping me getting another' thing, I've always been one to ask my parents permission. I know, I know, I'm 18 and stuff, but I've always been the cautious type, and I wouldn't want to risk losing Lister if I got another without her permission and she flipped. That is honestly the very worst case scenario, chances are I'll just get the ****y attitude/silent treatment. I still want to respect her wishes, but I cant see how another is an issue, as I already have one, he's been the perfect example, and I plan to stick at two only, until I move out!
Just clarifying, I live at home (Collage whoo), and my dad doesn't come into this as he doesn't really care about what pets we have, gave me the permission to get a Snake, and quite likes Lister :) |
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Ailsa
Banned
United Kingdom
804 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 00:15:42
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| Ok, so why not just sit beside her with him but without the "Wanna touvh the wormy?" rubbish, don't sit the snake next to her, just sit beside her while your handling your snake, it's either work or not, simples! |
Dakota ~ Bloodred Corn ~ Amber & Chloe ~ Cats
Mind is changing on snakes I want now lol so am researching these to find out what would be best - Milk Snakes and Dwarf Boa possibly - Crawl Cay, Sonoran, Tarahumara or Vera Cruz and poss a Hoggie, African House and Rat snake. Also Trinket Snakes. |
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lotabob
Fully Grown Corn
United Kingdom
4334 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 00:24:12
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| Some people just don't bond with reptiles. My Mum (I'm 27 and live in a different country) thinks they are cute but doesn't get why I love them like I do. I offered to let her hold Spot and she wouldn't, she is very clear on why though. She said she has no idea what to do if its moving too fast for her, like with a rabbit, you lift it off its feet and it stops moving forward, she wasn't sure how to hold Spot so thought it was best she didn't. It may be something like that, but if she tolerates it in the house then its a result. |
Anery Corn snake SPOT. Royal Python, DUKE. Hogg Island Boa, SANKE. Albino House Snake, HAL.
Harlequin Crested Gecko HARLEY
Albino Horned Frog WAKA
Chilean Rose Tarantula TRIXIE. Brazilian Salmon Pink Bird-eating Tarantula SAM. Orange Baboon Tarantula BORIS.
Giant Asian Forest Scorpion, SALLY.
Giant African Land Snails, SHELDON & MICHELLE.
Budwing Mantis, MAIA
Dubia Roach Colony. Silkworm Colony. Mealworm Colony. Waxworm Colony. Fruit Beetle Colony.
MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL http://www.youtube.com/user/alocheeky |
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 00:39:01
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quote:
Ok, so why not just sit beside her with him but without the "Wanna touch the wormy?" rubbish, don't sit the snake next to her, just sit beside her while your handling your snake, it's either work or not, simples!
I do that pretty much 90% of the time man, seeing as we all squash on the sofa in the evenings, I aint silly :P And nah, dont work. I've asked her why she wont hold him, but she wont give me a reason. I think it may have something to do with the fact that he's a Snow, and he has that pink patch on his head. She has remarked that it looks like his brain xD
quote:
Some people just don't bond with reptiles. My Mum (I'm 27 and live in a different country) thinks they are cute but doesn't get why I love them like I do. I offered to let her hold Spot and she wouldn't, she is very clear on why though. She said she has no idea what to do if its moving too fast for her, like with a rabbit, you lift it off its feet and it stops moving forward, she wasn't sure how to hold Spot so thought it was best she didn't. It may be something like that, but if she tolerates it in the house then its a result.
I can understand that, as I guess in that case it's about how much control you can exert over something, and if your mum felt out of control she wouldn't feel comfortable!
And yes, she tolerates him, so I think it may be a case of 'Oh look mum, I'm building a viv for practise' 'Oops, where did this other corn come from teehee :3c'
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Edited by - Spreebok on 03/04/2011 00:39:51 |
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herriotfan
Fully Grown Corn
United Kingdom
5853 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 09:58:49
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It took my husband a year to finally hold my snakes. You have to play a waiting game I'm afraid. Good luck.  |
Husband....Very Understanding!!! (Phil)
Son & Daughter (Kevin & Carol)
Granddaughter (Eva)
3.4.0 Cornsnakes Amel (Sidney) Caramel Stripe (Sultan) Amber (Cleo) Carolina (Phoebe) Anery Motley Stripe (Penny) Snow (Lily) Caramel (Holmes)
1.2.0 Royal Pythons(Peeps, Pandora & Pepsi)
1.0.0 Hognose (Hudson)
2.1.0 Dogs (Dillon, Alfie, Ellie)
0.1.0 Senegal Parrot (Peanut)
1.1.0 Bearded Dragons (Bonnie & Clyde)
1.0.0 Crested Geckos (Echo)
0.2.1 Hermanns Tortoises (Ebbie, Rosie & Twiglet)
0.1.0 Guinea Pig (Dolly-Pipsqueak)
0.1.9 Tarantulas (Poppy, Gypsy, Bumble, Insey Winsey, Sonic, Cookie, Raven, Fudge, Titch & Sox)
??? Foster animals
Location: Near Saffron Walden, Essex
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 10:41:38
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quote:
It took my husband a year to finally hold my snakes. You have to play a waiting game I'm afraid. Good luck.
Yeah, I guess it's going to come to that xP
I'm pretty sure if I had any other morph she'd be holding them by now! |
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Mamma
Fully Grown Corn
United Kingdom
4494 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 11:16:52
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| just give it time. She might warm to the idea. My husband want keen on Romeo, still isnt. He doesnt mind him being in the house as long as he doesnt escape... he just doesnt wanna hold him etc. Hes agreed to let me get a 2nd snake, but at 1st he was adament I was only having one. xxx |
Please feel free to add my photography page on facebook .... or check me out on deviantart  :
https://www.facebook.com/groups/MaliskaRodgersPhotography/
http://maliskarodgers.deviantart.com/ |
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 12:10:29
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quote:
just give it time. She might warm to the idea. My husband want keen on Romeo, still isnt. He doesnt mind him being in the house as long as he doesnt escape... he just doesnt wanna hold him etc. Hes agreed to let me get a 2nd snake, but at 1st he was adament I was only having one. xxx
Aww, just wanna say your sig pic of Romeo is adorable!
And this gives me hope, pretty much the same thing but with your hubby :) |
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eeji
The Morph Master
United Kingdom
4335 Posts |
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 18:03:12
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quote:
some people just don't like snakes, its a caveman instinct thing :)
Haha, I'll tell her that! 'Mum, your a caveman!' |
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lotabob
Fully Grown Corn
United Kingdom
4334 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 18:06:26
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| Cavewoman! |
Anery Corn snake SPOT. Royal Python, DUKE. Hogg Island Boa, SANKE. Albino House Snake, HAL.
Harlequin Crested Gecko HARLEY
Albino Horned Frog WAKA
Chilean Rose Tarantula TRIXIE. Brazilian Salmon Pink Bird-eating Tarantula SAM. Orange Baboon Tarantula BORIS.
Giant Asian Forest Scorpion, SALLY.
Giant African Land Snails, SHELDON & MICHELLE.
Budwing Mantis, MAIA
Dubia Roach Colony. Silkworm Colony. Mealworm Colony. Waxworm Colony. Fruit Beetle Colony.
MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL http://www.youtube.com/user/alocheeky |
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 18:09:09
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| Caveman will have funnier results xD |
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Red123
Fully Grown Corn
United Kingdom
2030 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 19:23:20
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| I've had snakes for year now and my husband has never once even touched any of them let alone hold one. My mum on the other hand was scarred of snakes but has touched one of mine and has now asked to hold one, so there is hope, you just need to be patient and let your mum decide if and when she wants to touch or hold a snake. It will happen eventually i'm sure. We've even had to take Sid out to our neighbours house because they were fascnated that we had snakes. My neighbour is bit of a worrier when it comes to animals and catching things from them, but she was amazed by how they moved and even touched Sid. You can't force someone to touch or hold something, it has be on their terms in their own time regardless of whether they have a fear of that particular animal or not. |
Corn Snake
, 1.0.0 Amel (Stan),
Royal Pythons
1.0.0 Normal (Nigel)
1.0.0 Albino (Tony)
Boa Constrictor Imperator
0.1.0 (Agatha)Western Hognose
0.1.0 Normal (Stevie)
0.0.1 Schneider Skink (George)
1.0.0 Extreme Blonde Harlequin Crested Gecko (Bert)
4 GALS.
Tarantulas
Red Rump (B. Vagans) Jo.
Chaco Golden Knee (G. pulchripes) Charlie, Greenbottle Blue (C. cyaneopubescens) Gus, Honduran Curly Hair ( B. albopilosum) Titch, Mexican Fire Leg (B. boehmei), Salmon Pink Bird Eater(L. parahybana), Fort Hall Baboon (P. Lugardi) Blanche, Stout Leg Baboon (E. Pachypus) Graham, Chilean Rose (G. Rosea) Glen.
Border collie x (BoB), 2 Cats (Lucky & Dip), 17 Goldfish, and The Dubia Family |
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Mort13
Fully Grown Corn
United Kingdom
5599 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 20:41:15
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If your mum wants to touch/hold your snake she'll come round in her own time,but only if thats what she wants. I'm lucky,my mum was really nervous about visiting when I first got Loki,but she stroked him and then held him the first time and is now fascinated with them and says they make her feel relaxed!!
I have a massive phobia of spiders,its much more than not liking them. After 35 years of being terrified I held a tarantula but it was my choice and if someone had actually asked me to do it I'd have ran a mile.
Hopefully its just a matter of time. Maybe show her some photos off Ians Vivarium,see if theres a morph she really likes. |
      
3.1.0 Corn snakes, 1.0.0 T-Albino Cape House Snake, 0.1.0 Western Hognose,
1.0.0 MBK, 0.1.0 Childrens Python, 1.0.0 Nicaraguan Dwarf Boas
0.0.1 Occelated Skink, 1.0.0 Leopard Gecko, 1.0.3 Tarantulas, 0.0.2 Damon diadema
1.0.0 C0ckatiel,
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 20:44:39
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Oh yes, I'm just playing the waiting game now, I mean, I'm not desperate for her to be all over him and whatnot, I just want her to sort of come round to the idea more, so I can get my second haha!
And I'll try that, but guarantee she wont be interested :P |
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Strawb
Egg
Germany
50 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 20:52:28
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Don't forget 2 months is a short time. I've had my cali Karla for about 6 years and my wife has never even stroked her. I now have 3 snakes.
Our computer is in my office and Karla has the run of it in the evenings. It's great watching my wife's reaction when Karla goes to say hello.
Give it time and in the meantime just enjoy Lister. Just don't let him escape or you'll totally knacker your chances. |
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Spreebok
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
1135 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2011 : 21:03:20
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Aw, bless, I bet she enjoys her run abouts! :)
And dont worry, I'm very OCD about it being closed, if the idea gets in my head that I might not have closed it, I always have to go check ahaha! |
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Laws
Yearling
United Kingdom
935 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2011 : 14:50:29
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| my mom is scared of snakes , always has been , i had one of mine out and my dad held him fine , my mom told me to keep him away from her , but then soon as me to take him abit closer so she could see him , she did touch him , a gentle poke and doesnt want to hold him . but thats cool , hes my snake after all . its good u want to run gettin another one out of respect for ur mom , but im sure if u told her u will look after it , she wont mind as much , maybe just dont ask her to hold it hehe x |
www.facebook.com/Thehogbox
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Problems with Mum and the Corn
