| T O P I C R E V I E W |
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Posted - 29/10/2009 : 12:53:24
I want to get a royal because I am in love with them! Or another corn  my dad is fine with it because I took him to a rep shop and made him look at some royals 
but my mother is adamant I’m not allowed to get another snake 
I need some suggestions to win my mother over, anyone got any? her excuses are ..
"it costs too much on the electric to heat tof's viv as it is "
"you said you would "shut up" when you got tof"
"you worry about tof too much as it is, imagine if you had another snake!"
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| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| n/a |
Posted - 30/10/2009 : 18:18:27
In some respects i agree with your mum on the power and cost front.
If you are using a ceramic for your corn you are using far more power than you actually need to heat the snake.
Now, if you have a pulse stat to control the ceramic you can easily replace the ceramic with a heat mat AND run a second mat while still using the same stat (i have pulse stats for my mats. Personal preference). This would be far cheaper than just one ceramic.
The problem with getting another corn or royal is that you will either have to buy another ceramic to use the same stat (which will cause larger bills for the reasons above) or buy a mat and second stat... i would really not recommend running a heat mat and a ceramic off the same stat because there is no chance that you will get the same temp in each enclosure. |
| SexyBear77 |
Posted - 30/10/2009 : 18:00:33
quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye
Chrissy, this is Hawk's mum here (get into my profile you'll see what I mean) I'm talking here from a parent's standpoint, see if you want to let you mum read what I'm about to say.
My response to your mother's reasons as you have described them here is that the electric cost is negligible, and the fact that you had said you would shut up when you got tof is neither here nor there, people are entitled to change their mind (or else I'd still be married, God forbid). Perhaps you worry too much about tof but I don't see that anyone other than yourself should be making working decisions on that, such as how much is too much and how it should be tackled.
So all in all this sounds a lot like your mother is having a hard time getting used to the idea that you are no longer the little girl she once had. It can be hard for some to not only trust their children, but to let go of the control that goes with parenting youngsters.
However, you still live with her so you get both the benefits and the drawbacks of living at home. Perhaps if she realizes that trying to run your life would cause you to leave home earlier than if you weren't interferred with, would change her mind regarding the amount of control she really wants to force over you.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but I can't find a gentler way to put it, and perhaps it should just be said as it is without trying to sugar coat. Please note I'm not saying she can't speak her mind, but I AM saying she shouldn't be forcing her opinions and evaluations on you and unless she has a VALID reason for not letting you get another snake then perhaps she should take a frank look at whether what she thinks of as efforts to act in your best interests aren't in fact a symptom of over-protectiveness and a wish to preserve the status quo of having her baby-girl (you).
As a word of advice, whatever you decide to do, keep your cool when you talk to her, but don't stop mentioning that you want an additional snake.
Please adopt me.
I am 21, have a job, a car, go to uni, dress myself, feed myself, can brush my own teeth and everything, but when I mention to my Dad that I would like another snake he goes mental. And when I ask him for a good reason for saying no, he comes up with- "because I said so."
So frustrating! I cant even keep him calm enough to discuss it rationally, its like poking an angry gorilla with a stick.
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| n/a |
Posted - 30/10/2009 : 17:53:10
Chrissy, this is Hawk's mum here (get into my profile you'll see what I mean) I'm talking here from a parent's standpoint, see if you want to let you mum read what I'm about to say.
My response to your mother's reasons as you have described them here is that the electric cost is negligible, and the fact that you had said you would shut up when you got tof is neither here nor there, people are entitled to change their mind (or else I'd still be married, God forbid). Perhaps you worry too much about tof but I don't see that anyone other than yourself should be making working decisions on that, such as how much is too much and how it should be tackled.
So all in all this sounds a lot like your mother is having a hard time getting used to the idea that you are no longer the little girl she once had. It can be hard for some to not only trust their children, but to let go of the control that goes with parenting youngsters.
However, you still live with her so you get both the benefits and the drawbacks of living at home. Perhaps if she realizes that trying to run your life would cause you to leave home earlier than if you weren't interferred with, would change her mind regarding the amount of control she really wants to force over you.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but I can't find a gentler way to put it, and perhaps it should just be said as it is without trying to sugar coat. Please note I'm not saying she can't speak her mind, but I AM saying she shouldn't be forcing her opinions and evaluations on you and unless she has a VALID reason for not letting you get another snake then perhaps she should take a frank look at whether what she thinks of as efforts to act in your best interests aren't in fact a symptom of over-protectiveness and a wish to preserve the status quo of having her baby-girl (you).
As a word of advice, whatever you decide to do, keep your cool when you talk to her, but don't stop mentioning that you want an additional snake.
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| SexyBear77 |
Posted - 30/10/2009 : 16:56:09
quote:
Originally posted by Chrissy
i have just made her read all of your amazin comments , i said i would pay towards to cost, i told her how much the set up would be etc but she still says no
Bilbo i would never just go and buy another snake because i know i would just be told to take it back ha! and kellog is right, it wouldnt help in showing my mum how responsible i am lol
cheers for all your advice guys, it certainly shut her up for a little bit because in her heart of hearts she knows its a good idea lol
oh and kellog, she does not see species of snake and my ability towards one or the other, she just sees a snake in general lol so it wouldnt matter if i wanted a corn or royal
Tell her that instead of another snake you would be happy to settle for a tarantula. |
| n/a |
Posted - 30/10/2009 : 16:42:54
i have just made her read all of your amazin comments , i said i would pay towards to cost, i told her how much the set up would be etc but she still says no
Bilbo i would never just go and buy another snake because i know i would just be told to take it back ha! and kellog is right, it wouldnt help in showing my mum how responsible i am lol
cheers for all your advice guys, it certainly shut her up for a little bit because in her heart of hearts she knows its a good idea lol
oh and kellog, she does not see species of snake and my ability towards one or the other, she just sees a snake in general lol so it wouldnt matter if i wanted a corn or royal and she knows how much i post on here anyway as she always "checks up on me" when im on the comp so i can never win against her as he vast knowledge, i know when im beat  |
| Kellog |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 22:43:19
Please dont just go out and get one...it will just prove you as irresponsible if you actively go against your mum.
Do you have any regular money coming in? Cah you contribute to the bills? Put together a list of what you will need, how much it costs and how much you can pay.
Cant help you on the one about you saying you would shut up after getting Tofu...these are too addictive. But I do wonder whether getting a corn would make your mum happier as you are experienced with corns now, whereas with a royal you would be heading into new territory.
That is also a good arguement for the third comment...we all worry about our snakes, but you have had Tofu for a while now so you do know what you are doing and you have a lot of support on here (maybe you need to try and hide your worry from her a bit more and lean on the forum for support). Hope some of this helps.
xxx |
| SexyBear77 |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 19:17:02
Good luck, Ive been trying to convince my Dad to let me have a royal for months. |
| hiper2009 |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 19:13:54
LoLage when you saw my new snake it made you very jelous and now you want another one haha , by the way my mum kept saying noo to me if i could buy another snake , so what i did was i bought it and then set it up and now my mum is ok with it as she said i cant give it back or let it loose so better care for it. |
| a33272 |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 18:54:56
chimps right you would be suprised how little electric u acctually use heating a viv, my meter has a big spinny thing and if i turn everything off but my viv heating for both vivs it hardly turns, do she leave her thelly on standby if so just tell her is she aware a telly on standby uses justa as much electric as one that is turned on ;) |
| Bilbo |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 18:40:11
just go and get one and when you get home just say look what i just found lol. i would offer to pay some of the bill as well. and that you will never ask for a new pet again. (this year anyway) |
| Chimp276 |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 18:30:22
Heat mats use a very small amount of electric, or say u will pay her a small amount each month to cover the costs! |
| HannahB |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 15:02:55
lol good luck  its what im going to do when aura gets home cause iv gotta buy another heat mat - dont like the heat cable (unreliable!) |
| n/a |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 13:48:00
cheers hannah, ima try that |
| HannahB |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 13:33:58
ah right..urm i duno how to help you then..if it uses a stat then you can get a 2 plug thingy adn put that in your stat and run them both off one stat? |
| n/a |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 13:04:55
tof hasant got a heat mat, shes got a ceramic heat bulb .. grr lol |
| HannahB |
Posted - 29/10/2009 : 12:57:33
can you not have them on the same heat mat? when aura comes home she will be sharing a heat mat with Little One to save on energy
royals are great..little fussy at times but they are lovely |
