| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| saddleninja |
Posted - 23/01/2009 : 14:09:30
is it so deaf people can enjoy them too
because at 37 i still find them funny |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Dazzetski |
Posted - 25/07/2009 : 18:17:51
Why was the mushroom so popular?
Because he was a fun guy to be with! |
| n/a |
Posted - 08/07/2009 : 13:27:29
Lol  ...Everyone in my office is wondering why iam laughing lol...ty all for putting a smile on my face today |
| Kehhlyr |
Posted - 08/07/2009 : 12:41:52
My pet snake was unable to 'do the deed' this year and help his female to produce eggs. I took him to the vets and he prescribed Viagra, because my snake has a reptile dysfunction.
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| n/a |
Posted - 07/06/2009 : 11:26:20
iv a good one.....
im gonna rob a bank tomorrow. i plan on wearing a clown wig, makeup and only wear a thong and nipple tassels, i,ll carry a goat and flourescent paint and when im in the bank i will sh** the goat and throw paint over the walls, after getting the cash i will shi* on the floor and p everywhere, i will then escape in a van shaped like i giant pink coc*, lets see crimewatch fu**ing stage that reconstruction!!!
and i even been good and censored it lmao |
| Mick |
Posted - 07/06/2009 : 10:23:50
Hope this is ok, made my lol
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.” |
| muppet9976 |
Posted - 07/06/2009 : 09:36:04
A blonde joke...
3 women break down in the desert. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They can each carry one item with them, to help them survive. After an hour or so, the redhead says to the brunette; what did you bring and why?
The brunette replies, i brought water so i have something to drink if i get thirsty. What did you bring and why? So the redhead replies, i brought food so if i get hungry i can eat.
They both turn to the blonde and say; why on earth have you brought a car door???
The blonde replies, because if i get hot, i can just wind the window down.
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| PunkAsF82 |
Posted - 07/06/2009 : 01:09:05
my answer would be: A fat chavettes face |
| matty18714 |
Posted - 06/06/2009 : 21:37:04
quote:
Originally posted by Kehhlyr
What's Round and Orange??
A blue square in disguise
Damn, I thought I would get that one |
| Kehhlyr |
Posted - 06/06/2009 : 21:35:47
What's Round and Orange??
A blue square in disguise
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| n/a |
Posted - 20/04/2009 : 16:09:06
LOL! |
| PunkAsF82 |
Posted - 20/04/2009 : 07:28:08
OK, here's an early morning political joke for you early risers:
An English MP, a Scottish Mp and an Irish Mp are all flying over to Africa in a plane laded with gifts from their countries for the poor starving third world folk.
Suddenly, the planes starts to fail. The pilot does all he can to get the plane to keep flying but to no avail, Eventually, the MP's realsie that if they throw their gifts out of the plane, they would be able to survive.
The Irish MP goes first. He throws a huge crate of whiskey out of the plane. The pilot says "Why did you choose the whiskey?" The Irisih MP replies "Well, we have plenty of it in our country."
The Scottish MP goes next. He throws a big crate of heather out of the plane, and says "Well we have plently of that left in my country."
The English MP goews last. He picks up the Scottish MP and throws him out of the plane. The Pilot and the Irish MP look horrified. The English MP sits down and says "Well we have plenty more of THOSE in our country" |
| Kehhlyr |
Posted - 20/04/2009 : 00:07:45
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little dust broom!!!"
"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom........
"BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
I'm sorry for that, but i've just been sent it, and thought it was brilliant |
| Kehhlyr |
Posted - 18/04/2009 : 01:05:03
Hmm, although the jokes are entertaining, I'm not sure if they are safe for this forum. If you understand what I mean.
This forum has always been everyone friendly, from kids to adults, and I'm not sure how some of those might be perceived.
You may want to check with higher powers (Lewy or Kaz).
Sorry to seem a spoilsport, but I'm thinking of others. |
| matty18714 |
Posted - 17/04/2009 : 21:06:45
lol Tiz
quote:
Originally posted by Tizzy
What do Michael jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave little boys' bedrooms with empty sacks.
 |
| Tizzy |
Posted - 17/04/2009 : 20:46:45
A few Jacko jokes - because he's an easy target and i have no shame.
A little boy came home from school and said, "Dad, is God a man or a woman?"
"He is both son.....male and female," he replied.
"Is he black or white?" he asked.
"Again, he is both black and white," the father replied.
"Well, is he gay or straight then?" asked the kid.
"Again, God is both gay and straight," he said.
"Dad.....is God....Michael Jackson?"
I bought a new voice activated car stereo today. If I shout "country" it plays Dolly Parton, if I shout "rock" it plays Guns and Roses. I was driving through town the other day when some children ran out in front of me, I shouted "F*CKING KIDS!" and it played Michael Jackson.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
One is white, made of plastic and is dangerous to children, the other is a plastic bag.
What's the difference between Casper and Michael Jackson?
One is pale, creepy and scares little kids, and the other is a cartoon ghost.
Jacko's house was raided by the Drug Squad. They found some Class A in his living room, Class B in his kitchen and Class 3C in his bedroom.
Michael Jackson has just announced that he is to release a new album.
The follow-up to 'Off the Wall', 'Bad', 'Dangerous' and 'Smooth Criminal' is entitled 'Well I Did Warn You...'
What do Michael jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave little boys' bedrooms with empty sacks.
Remember that news footage a few years ago showing Michael jackson dangling a young child from a hotel balcony? Odd, because he normally just tosses them off.
How do you know when it's bedtime in Michael jackson's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Rolf Harris has done the art work for the Michael Jackson gigs at the 02 Arena.As a thank you Jacko will be doing Two little boys at the end of each show. |
| n/a |
Posted - 08/04/2009 : 16:25:50
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick
Whats pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff
Whats blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding its breath |
| PunkAsF82 |
Posted - 31/03/2009 : 00:00:56
i get the gold one :D
how abou this..
What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog?
A fang-furter!
Why wouldn't the snake get himself weighed?
Because he had his own scales :P
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| Tizzy |
Posted - 30/03/2009 : 22:32:20
Found this and found it very amusing......
THINGS YOU LEARN WHEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN
There IS room to swing a cat in your lounge.
Kids shoes are just as comfortable on the wrong feet.
Extractor fans can be used to chop bananas.
The Police arrive before the Fire Brigade.
A pillow case is rubbish as a parachute.
Stray Ninja Turtle weaponry is attracted to bare feet.
Small pieces of Lego will ultimately pass through a toddlers digestive system.
In any stone throwing contest, windows always lose.
Fights do not end just because you say so.
Kitty litter turns into a swamp monster when poured down the toilet.
A ceiling fan will not spin a four year old Batman dangling from a dogs lead. |
| matty18714 |
Posted - 22/02/2009 : 09:43:00
Ahhh, I get it now . Cheers Piers |
| Kehhlyr |
Posted - 22/02/2009 : 03:02:56
I did actually chuckle out loud when i got sent those jokes.
Matty, we will give you stick, but not much, there was only 1 person i told it to that understood it as well.
I'm wondering how many people will understand the one about the gold.
ok, one more. For now...
I was on holiday in the States once when I saw a huge snake.
My mum said, "don't worry - he's more scared of you than you are of him".
I said, "yeah, but his mates won't take the mickey when he wets himself".
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